Inspire your teen

The news of Steve Jobs death sent shock waves through social media circles today, prompting people of all ages to post inspirational quotes and lessons learned. Teenagers have long admired him, using his amazing success as a template of sorts for their own dreams.

Here is a teaching moment.

With the abundance of sensational personalities for teens to idolize, here is a moment to guide your teen to intentionally follow a path carved by a man who accomplished so much good in the world, and who had a way of expressing his recipes for success that resonated with everyone.

Speaking of success, there are many new and innovative ways for people to improve themselves. For those who seek success, there are tools like self help books, audio tapes, and even obscure things like pheromones.

Companies like Liquid Alchemy Labs and PheromoneXS make pheromone products for men and women to achieve more success in social, romantic, and professional situations.

Who inspires your teen?

Ask your teen who they idolize. Who inspires them to be the best they can be, to strive for excellence, to try for a goal that at first may seem impossible to reach?

Ask your teen if they know the story of Steve Jobs’ humble beginnings, and if they can give themselves permission to start where they are right now and pursue a dream they believe in.

Ask you teen to put into words what is important to them, and who they choose to surround themselves with to stay on course.

Ask your teen how they understand the word legacy. What is the legacy left by Steve Jobs? How can your teen forge their own path, adjust to the dramatically altered economic landscape, and craft their own success?

Ask your teen how they want to be remembered.

Big moments can be great teaching moments. Ask questions. Listen to your teen’s answers.

Then encourage them to walk forward boldly!

Your turn:

We learn from each other! What conversations have you had today with your teen about lessons to be learned from the life and legacy of Steve Jobs?

How to help teens grow into strong adults

The bill for a college education these days can reach well into six figures. For the parents who are focused on getting their kids a college education, managing this expense is a daunting challenge. What’s a parent to do? As they make sacrifices, they encourage their teens to make good grades and stay out of trouble.

What they really want is for their child to grow up to be a successful adult and raise a happy family. A college education seems to be an essential step towards that goal.

The ingredients for teens’ long term success.

While kids should take their college education seriously and while it may help them get a decent job, a degree – by itself – has little to do with long-term success. It’s easy to graduate from college without learning much of anything that will help in a career. Can you imagine a college graduate who hasn’t become a lifelong learner? Someone who lacks self-confidence, patience, courage, composure, creativity, initiative or any of the many strengths one needs to strive against adversity and prevail? A college education isn’t focused on fostering those strengths. Any academic will tell you that this is not a university’s mission, not its purpose.

It’s not high school’s purpose, either.

And few parents appreciate that it’s their job to help their kids build these strengths. Very few, indeed.

Some kids do learn to strive, though. It can happen accidentally when their personal life is challenging and they’re faced with having to do hard things. It can also happen in high school sports, which are often microcosms of life.

Or not. Some kids don’t rise to the challenge. They’re beaten down by adversity, or they fail to meet the challenges of their sport. Most coaches feel they already have their hands full teaching conditioning, the game, skills, and strategies for winning. Which leaves little time for mentoring the athletes to become strong, mature adults.

How teens grow into strong adults.

I once spoke with a young woman I’ll call Maria about her teen years. Only 24, she recently married for the second time and has two children. She’s working as a legal assistant and is given responsibilities far beyond the norm. She’s planning to get additional training and certification. Her goal: to create a stable life for her kids, so they never have to experience the horrors she did as a teen. Her mother, an alcoholic manic-depressive, divorced several times by the time Maria was a teen. Then her mother formed a lesbian relationship with a woman who dominated Maria. Her mother’s drinking and suicide attempts made Maria’s home life so chaotic that she had trouble keeping friends. On her own initiative, she got involved in her studies, church, art, and sports. At age 16 she abandoned her mother to live with her natural father. In other words, she dealt with her situation. She found supportive adults and created a strong self by struggling with her adversity.

Good for her. This is a hard way to get strong, though. Another teen might be crushed by an experience like this.

In other words, there’s more to growing up and preparing yourself for adult life than staying out of trouble and getting admitted to a good university. A kid is either working on getting stronger or not. And by the time the young person is 22, well, he or she isn’t a kid anymore. Hello, adulthood. In addition to formal education, here’s what a teen can be working on to arrive as an adult already strong:

  • Personal strengths
  • People skills
  • Critical thinking skills
  • Life skills

I also spoke with a friend who has a niece that became an adult without becoming strong as a person, without acquiring any of these skills. Her mother was an alcoholic and her father was addicted to gambling. Otherwise, her parents were nice people. But as parents, they had no idea what to do. Put food on the table and shout at the kids when they didn’t behave. That was pretty much it. My friend’s niece got married at age 17, had kids, and became an alcoholic herself. Now, at the age of 38, she spends most of her time in bed at her mother’s house.

The point is, if someone becomes an adult without gaining these strengths and skills, they’ll have a lot of catching up to do. This is what happens to almost everyone. The problem is, this means unlearning and recreating yourself. A lot of people never catch up.

What could be more important than helping a young person develop into a strong adult? It’s tragic that as adults we leave so much of this parenting and mentoring to chance. It’s a shame that a child has to be an at-risk kid and “in the system” before adults get concerned and want to do something about it.

There’s more to preparing for future success in life than getting good grades and staying out of trouble. Teens have a full plate. They have a lot more on their learning plate than they know. And more than most parents, teachers and coaches know.

Your turn

What experiences helped or hindered you in your own process of growing up? How are you helping your teen grow into a strong adult? Do you feel like you have the tools you need to guide your teen in this journey? We grow together and learn from each other – share you experience here. There is always hope!

Help for teens in crisis

Do you suspect your teen is going down the wrong path and engaging in life-threatening activities, i.e drinking, doing drugs or engaging in promiscuous behavior?

Is your teen failing all of their classes and busy hanging out with the wrong crowd?

Do you know if your teen is bullying or being extremely aggressive at
school?

If you are at a loss of what to do with your out-of-control teen and would like to get some assistance, there is hope and we can help!

A Major Cable Network is currently looking for families and their teens (ages 11-18) for a groundbreaking new series.

We will be providing you with a team trained in helping your teen get back on the right track.

Please send us an email sharing your story.

***BE SURE TO INCLUDE WHAT CITY AND STATE YOU ARE APPLYING
FROM IN YOUR SUBJECT LINE***

Also, please attach a current family photo and include: Names, Ages, and
the best phone number to reach you. Say the Hope Coach sent you!

Tell your teen the truth

Are you afraid to tell your teen the truth?

Along with millions from around the world, I watched the X-Factor tonight. As always I was inspired by the amazingly talented contestants, as well as slightly amused by those who really need to find some other way to spend their time. But what struck me tonight was the parents who were supporting their teens or adult kids passionately. That’s a good thing right? Isn’t that what we as parents are supposed to do?

Yes. And it is vitally important that you define what passionately supporting your kids means.

In their journey toward adulthood, your children will try some things that they just aren’t very good at. Do you tell them the truth? Out of a desire to be supportive of your teen, have you found yourself agreeing to a misconception of reality? Have you ever said things like this:

You can do anything you put your mind to!

You so talented!

You deserve to get into x-University – you’re the best!

I don’t know what’s wrong with them – you should have gotten that job. 

You look beautiful. If people judge you by your appearance that’s their problem. 

How do you tell the truth to your teen?

If you find yourself supporting legitimate talent in your teen, congratulations! I agree, that is one of the privileges of parenting. But if you have gotten trapped into habits of telling your teen what he wants to hear when it doesn’t agree with reality, you may want to take a hard look at the disservice you’re doing your child.

Teens who don’t understand where their talents are, and are not, are poorly equipped when they reach adulthood and try to find a career or pursue higher education.

Teens who have been told they can “do anything” have no clear understanding of the hard work required to achieve a cherished goal, or the role that talent plays.

Teens who have parents who can’t tell them the truth have no idea who or what to believe.

Teens who have been told that its someone else’s fault if they don’t get that job, win that competition, get that girlfriend or boyfriend, or get a grade they want, don’t have the tools they need to succeed in life.

Teens who haven’t been told the truth are more likely to have an entitlement attitude.The belief that says I deserve what I want just because I want it.

How do you tell the truth to your teen?

First of all, take the time to determine what is the truth. Lets look at a few examples.

  • If you have a teenage daughter who dresses skimpily and flirts mercilessly, then wonders why she doesn’t “get the guy” she set her heart on, you may want to have a serious conversation with her. Not in a put-down you’re bad/wrong sort of way. But have a talk about the effects of dress and behavior on a guy’s perception of character, and the freedom she can experience from matching her desires and her external messages.
  • If you have a teenage son who is expressing his individuality by letting his hair grow long, wearing baggy clothes, and using body art or piercings or tattoos, then gets upset when he can’t find work, you may need to consider telling him the truth. Not in a put down you’re bad/wrong sort of way. But give him information about how first impressions can work for or against him, and help him find ways to express himself that won’t sabotage what he’s trying to accomplish.
  • If you’ve gotten in the habit of agreeing when your teen complains that its the teacher’s fault he didn’t get that A, stop! Have a serious discussion with your teen – one in which you ask more questions than impart your words of wisdom. Ask him to describe for you his understanding of the class expectations, how much work he did, how much time he spent in learning the material. Help him accept the reality of imperfection.
  • Help your teen understand the difference between doing something because you enjoy it that can be shared with friends and family, and real legitimate talent for something that can be shared with the world. The glamour and glitz of television romances teens into believing they can do that too – tell them the truth!
  • Expose your teen to “stars” who are open about the incredible amount of hard work, and repeated failure, that went into their journey to achieving what they did. Is your teen willing to practice his drums three hours every day in the garage for ten years on the journey to becoming a professional? Is she ready to work at minimum wage in a menial job to put herself through school to pursue the career she’s dreamed of? Is your teen prepared for the sacrifice involved in developing a talent to share with the world?

Of course, these conversations are best if begun when your child is much younger than his teen years. But if you realize you’ve gotten stuck in bad habits, its not too late to tell the truth starting today!

Your turn

How do you tell the truth to your teen? Where have you struggled with this? Are there times you have agreed with how great your teen is at something, knowing that he really doesn’t have the talent? Are you the parent cheering in the wings during an X-Factor audition, while everyone else rolls their eyes? No matter what untruthful parenting habits you discover, there is always hope. Share your experience here, and lets learn from each other.

Is alcohol romancing your teen?

He was just eleven years old when he first tried alcohol at a friend’s house, and by age 14 Jack was drinking regularly. He joined the millions of teenage boys and girls who had what he called a “positive experience” with alcohol, yet the long-term effects were devastating. During his later teen years, Jack was hospitalized with severe mental health symptoms, and by early adulthood he had been in jail four times.

If you’re a parent to teenagers, you’re most likely to read the above paragraph and say, “Oh, thats so sad! But my teenager would never do that!” But reality says that may not be so.

How does alcohol romance your teenager?

There are literally millions of stories of addiction and recovery, even for teenagers. Not one of those teens started out with a determination to experience the devastating effects of alcohol addiction! From beer-pong parties to copying the behavior of older siblings or even of parents, teens are inundated with messages that say its ok, even fun, to drink alcohol. Those emotional issues that nearly all teens struggle with – like feeling insecure and afraid, feeling misunderstood, being victimized by bullying and dysfunctional family systems, depression and even more serious mental health issues – all are made better temporarily by taking a drink of alcohol. That first drink calms fear, reduces social anxiety, provides a setting for inclusiveness for the outcast and quiets the mental demons for those struggling with deeper issues.

Its like the ultimate romantic relationship, with a few terrifyingly destructive aspects thrown in. Your teen is beginning to experience the hormonal, social, and mental agony of changing from a child into a teen, and that first drink just plain feels good. Like the caress of a new lover, alcohol wraps up their insecurities in gentle fuzziness and quiets their fears. They can suddenly find a way to strike up a conversation with that boy or girl who has been catching their eye. They don’t feel the pain of the latest argument with mom or dad, and can forget the pressures to perform in school. And the internal confusion is hidden behind a curtain of a drug that is more addictive than any other.

I’ve had parents write to me of their pain when discovering that their teenager has been drinking, asking for help and sometimes wishing they could simply package up that child until he reached the age of adulthood. Parents always seem surprised at the depth of their child’s pain, and struggle to understand why. Why would my child drink? He has a great life, I’ve done everything I could for him, he has nearly everything he wants, why would he turn to alcohol?

Its that romance thing.

Think about it this way.

If you have a headache what do you do?

Somehow when we think of medicating a physical pain, it makes sense. Of course you’ll take a pill, take a nap, do something to feel better.

But your teen is in emotional pain. When lover alcohol comes along promising to remove that pain, most teens say yes.

Tools to help your teen say NO to alcohol

Here are a few tools to use as a parent in order to help your teen say no to alcohol. Start from a place of EYES WIDE OPEN. Don’t rely on the hope that my teen would never do that. Addiction is far easier to prevent than to heal.

  1. Start early. The average age of a first drink for boys is 11, for girls is 13. Does that surprise you? At that age, your pre-teen’s brain development is just beginning, and damage from alcohol can be irreversible. Begin early to have conversations with your teenager about alcohol, what it is, how it works, and the pressures he will experience to try it.
  2. Pay attention to the underlying issues that push teens to accept the romantic attentions of alcohol. Thats all those issues that we discuss here on this site. The emotional and spiritual issues that your teen struggles with. Feelings of alienation, alone-ness, fear, insecurity. Pain from dysfunctional family systems and from a world that has become very teen-unfriendly. Talk about issues, give your child information and tools to use when that romance begins. Notice what your teen isn’t saying.
  3. Be involved. Know your teen’s friends. Participate with your teen in activities that don’t involve drinking. Help your teen discover their talents and interests.
  4. Pay attention to your own issues. In parenting, modeling is more powerful than teaching. Are you showing your teen how to walk through tough issues without going into denial or using a substance? If you have alcohol in your home, how often have you said, “Oh my goodness I had such a hard day – I need a glass of wine”? If you have deeper issues that need attention, let your teen in on the secret of how you find healing and your process of growth.
  5. If you discover your teen is drinking, don’t wait and hope it doesn’t become a problem. That romance by alcohol is addictive. Feeling temporarily better just plain feels good, and your teen doesn’t have the emotional and mental maturity to know when to stop. Get help early! We’ll discuss how to help a teen in addiction in another post.

Here are a couple of online resources to check out: Focus Adolescent Services, Stop Underage Drinking. Educate yourself. Be a mindful parent. Pay attention and give your child ways to resist the romance of alcohol.

Is this an issue you have struggled with in your family? How have you successfully helped your teen say NO to the romance of alcohol? How have you practiced mindful parenting and kept yourself from the dangers of denial? How have you helped your teen understand healthier ways of handling their emotional, mental, and social issues? Have you tried, and failed, to keep your child safe from alcohol? Remember that no matter how far down you and your child have gone, there is always hope!Share your stories here.

parenting adult children

Being an effective parent of adult children has many stages, is different with every adult-child, and is often dependent on the dynamics in place from the earlier years. Just as there is no instruction manual for brand new parents, there are also no instructions available for how to be an effective parent of adult children. Doing an internet search will provide you with tons of “canned” advice, that at least for me is rather pointless.

Read what others are saying about the Hope Coach:

You have a clear, well-balanced approach to parenting, which is both profound and rare. ~Lisa

It is very reassuring to me to know that, as you said, I am ‘not defined by my children’s choices’. Thank goodness for that. ~Becky Jane

I have 2 adult kids that have moved back home every time they got into financial trouble. ~BJ

I have kept on giving with only the faith that one day they will know that I loved them and those that have chosen to back away return to loving arms. ~Lisa

Your ideas were so helpful, and interesting because this is a topic my mom and I were just discussing. Thank you. ~Nicole

Without good tools, loving and being respectful gets all mixed up and nobody feels good about what’s going on. I’ve discovered that changing is hard even if it’s the right thing to do. ~aw

Parenting Adult Children

For the last 12 years I have had adult children. I’ve made many mistakes, some of which are long-lasting. The interactions I currently have with each of my four adult children bring enormous joy, sometimes brings pain, sometimes regret and guilt, often challenges me, and is rarely as frequent as I would like. From my own experiences and from walking with many other families through the process of becoming more effective as parents of adult children, I can offer you an ‘insiders perspective’ on this most challenging stage of life.

  • Are you concerned about relationship choices your adult children are making that may be putting them in danger?
  • Are your adult children too close, or not as close as you would like?
  • Do your adult children communicate rarely, or express their “need” for your help (emotional or financial) more than you think is healthy?
  • Do you know you’ve made mistakes in raising your children and now want to do some healing work?
  • Are there some of your own personal issues that come up when you interact with your adult children that are negatively impacting your relationship with them?
  • Do you feel guilty, defensive, angry, sad about your past or current relationship with your adult children, and need some help to find a healthy way through those feelings?
  • Do your adult children use you to bail them out of situations they got themselves into?
  • Do you need to hide your checkbook (your pills, your car keys, your valuables…) when your adult child comes for a visit (or to stay)?
  • Is your adult child in an abusive relationship? Has your adult child become an abuser?
  • Is your adult child in trouble with the law?
  • Do you struggle to have healthy boundaries between you and your adult child?

Help from the Hope Coach

Parenting adult children is an ongoing process of an adult relationship “becoming”, and there is always a better way. For straight talk from a mom who has “been there done that”, stick around! Choose the Coaching Services package that is right for you, and lets work together to transform the relationship between you and your adult child.

***DISCLAIMER***

I’m often asked if I’m a therapist. I am not. Although I have worked in the past as a Recovery Counselor, I do not have a degree in counseling, and prefer to be “just” a Hope Coach. I cannot guarantee a specific outcome from my Hope Coaching Services – either that a relationship will be healed or that you or other people will make better choices or feel differently. I carefully guard the thousands of secrets that have been told to me over the years and will continue to do so. I also carefully guard against unhealthy “secrets” and do not hesitate to refer to a professional when necessary. If you believe you may harm yourself or someone else, please immediately contact the emergency services in your area. What I offer is my own experience, strength and Hope, both as a parent of teenagers and adults, and in healing the relationship between myself and my own parents.

Personal Recovery

The only way I know to find hope and healing is to practice personal recovery. Whether or not you have a specific “addiction” you’re in recovery from (or need to be) or simply need to focus on personal growth and honoring the person you are beneath the roles you play, this is for you. I have been on my own Personal Recovery journey for more than 22 years, and have a wealth of experience, strength, and hope to share with you!

Read what others are saying about the Hope Coach:

…How beautiful that you have this gift to pass on to others. Love and blessings on you as you reach a hurting world with your experience, strength and hope! ~aw

Thank you for inspiring through your change and not being afraid to Act. ~Denise

Wow, your words are so helpful! I really respect your level of growth and maturity. ~CL

Thank you so much for being courageous enough (humble enough) to admit to the mistakes you’ve made AND open enough to talk about the guilt. Your recovery is an inspiration – thank you for being willing to pass it on. ~Elise

The most truth I’ve read in a long time! ~Sadie

Such great food for thought today. My two favorite lines:
1)Personal Recovery means kicking out someone else’s skeleton that’s been hanging out rent-free in your closet
2)Personal Recovery means practicing a joy filled fully-present daily life. ~Annie

Thank you for a wonderful wake-up call! ~Kathy

Personal Recovery looks like this.

  • Accountability
  • Responsibility
  • Healthy boundaries
  • Gentleness with your progress
  • A place to be real
  • Accepting help
  • Regularly inventorying your inner experience and outer behaviors to see what needs work
  • Being willing to do the hard work of healing
  • Intentionally reaching out to another who is struggling

Help from the Hope Coach

I invite you to break dysfunctional patterns you’ve been carrying, heal from the pain in your soul and experience the joy of hope. The process of recovery is as individual as you are, and as universal as we all are.

But no one finds recovery in a vacuum. We learn from each other, heal as we comfort each other, and grow while sharing together. Are you ready?

There is always hope! Choose the Coaching Services package that is best for you, and lets start working together to help you find healing.

Parenting Teens

Parenting has been called the toughest job in the universe. I agree! Over the last 30+ years of being a mom, most of those years as a single parent, there are days when I’ve wanted to throw up my hands in despair. Having raised four children to adulthood, there are a few things I’ve learned – both from doing things right and from doing them wrong. I’ve also spent the last 20+ years working with families who have either particularly high-stress teen situations, or who simply need a little help navigating those teen years with their children.

Read what others are saying about the Hope Coach:

You are totally my hero, you know that? ~Sharon

I have big issues with my mom. I like your advice about denial and taking personal responsibility. Your coaching came at a really good time for me–right when I needed the advice and a reminder that I’m the one in control here, even though it doesn’t always feel that way. Thanks. ~Kim

You have a clear, well-balanced approach to parenting, which is both profound and rare. ~Lisa

RJ, you break everything down so well. Sometimes reading your posts make me wish you were my mom. My parents had no parenting skills that’s why my brother is a real mess. Do you by chance ever think of putting your material down in a journal of some sort or a book? I would definitely buy it. I know how difficult teens and adult children are and you hit every point each time. Thank you for all this. I feel as though I learn so much from your site – Parenting tools on my fingers. ~Lexie

Currently I am parenting a 16 year old, and 3, 4 and 1 year olds as well. You really put the entire picture into focus for me. I especially liked how you outlined specific examples of calm, following-through behavior. Having come from a background where this respectful-mindful parenting was NOT modeled it is SO helpful to hear your personal examples. ~Elise

I have taken your words and will apply them to my life. Thanks for being here. ~Candi

I feel like I am in a constant battle with my 15 year old daughter… I need to stop and be more patient that’s for sure – I printed out your suggestions as a reminder to myself… thank you! ~Kelly

Your words of wisdom have brought new meaning to my parenting method. ~Christin

Parenting teenagers

Parenting teenagers is often as confusing and disconcerting as the moment that child arrived as an infant. How to survive these years with sanity and relationships intact is not easy, and is different with every child. Unfortunately, most resources that offer help with parenting are focused on the younger years. Do an internet search for help with your teenager, and most of what you’ll find will be what I call “canned advice”. You know the kind – “talk about their interests” (what if they won’t talk to you?), “help them find what they like doing” (what if they don’t like anything?), and my favorite: “relax a little – they’ll be just fine” (what if they aren’t okay?).

    • Do you have teenagers still at home who are pushing the limits?
    • Do your younger children learn bad habits from your teenagers?
    • Do your teenagers tell you that you embarrass them?
    • Have you made significant mistakes and want to make changes?
    • Does the prospect of “losing” your child to adulthood frighten you?
    • Are you afraid that your teenager is making the sort of disastrous “bad” choices that have long-term negative consequences?

I came across your website in a desperate search for help. I’m lost and have no idea where to even begin to help my son. ~Cindy

    • Are you afraid that your teenager will make some of the wrong choices you did at their age?

This isn’t like being lectured or taught but is all about coming along-side someone who cares as much about getting to the other side as I do…for both of us! ~Elise

    • Are you frustrated with your inability to help your teenager learn from your mistakes, or from their own?

I have goosebumps right now! This post [slinkymoms] was so heartfelt and insightful. I have to sit a moment to take it in…That was a beautiful way to make lemonade out of the lemons that were thrust upon you and your family. I love the slinky analogy, and it fits me to a T. ~Helen

    • Did you receive poor modeling of appropriate parenting strategies from your own parents? Are you determined to be a more effective parent to your teen than your parents were to you?

Great…now I’m crying.
You already know some of my history with my sick and sadistic parents and I am done with them. But what continues to allude me, what still breaks my heart is when I hear through the grapevine from other family members that my Mother and Father still say it’s all my fault. I wish they would just be done with me like I am with them.
I am by no means a great parent. I’m the first generation to break the cycle of physical/sexual/drug & alcohol abuse, but I’m trying really REALLY hard to create positive memories for my kids every single day. I’m your #1 fan still. ~Sharon

Help from the Hope Coach

There is hope! From boundaries to drug use to mental illness to teen relationship issues to rage to depression to sex… we talk about all of it here. Parenting your teen takes creativity, flexibility, and courage. Here you will find practical solutions to some of the most challenging parts of being parent to a teenager, from a straight-talking mom who has “been there done that”.

Your advice inspires me…and always give me hope… thank you. ~Steph

You don’t have to do it alone! Visit my Coaching Services page and choose the package that is right for you. Join the other mothers and fathers and grandparents and teens and young adult kids who have found HOPE from the Hope Coach!

Lets find solutions together!

 

***DISCLAIMER***

I’m often asked if I’m a therapist. I am not. Although I have worked in the past as a Recovery Counselor, I do not have a degree in counseling, and prefer to be “just” a Hope Coach. I cannot guarantee a specific outcome from my Hope Coaching Services – either that a relationship will be healed or that you or other people will make better choices or feel differently. I carefully guard the thousands of secrets that have been told to me over the years and will continue to do so. I also carefully guard against unhealthy “secrets” and do not hesitate to refer to a professional when necessary. If you believe you may harm yourself or someone else, please immediately contact the emergency services in your area. What I offer is my own experience, strength and Hope, both as a parent of teenagers and adults, and in healing the relationship between myself and my own parents.

Coaching Services

Whether you are looking for help with parenting challenges with your teen or adult child, or need help Living in Recovery, there is hope!

Check the Parenting Teens, Parenting Adult Children and Personal Recovery pages for details about each. Securely complete the Hope Coaching Services Request Form here. Remember that your first “meet the Hope Coach” consultation is always FREE!

Standard Hope Package

This Hope Package gives you one hour (by email, chat, or telephone) to determine your needs, hear what you’ve tried or would like to, and listen to what changes you would like to pursue.

I provide you with personalized Coaching for what options may help you move forward, including tangible and specific suggestions.

There is always HOPE! No matter how overwhelming your personal situation feels at this moment, having the Hope Coach walk with you can transform your life!

My written report includes:
a. Snapshot of where you are today
b. The specific Goal you need to focus on in order to proceed
c. 30 days of Coaching included (by phone or email).
*** The effectiveness of this package may be enhanced by information you provide on the Services Request Form. ***

Follow-up Hope Coaching $149/month

If you choose to have ongoing coaching, I can help! With no contracts, you only pay for months you utilize this service as you move forward. Includes four hours per month phone or email coaching.

Enhanced Hope Package (EP) $449 Best Value!

Some situations require a little more time and detail, and I’m here to help! Standard Package and 6 months (24 hours) of phone or email Follow-up Hope Coaching.

Securely complete the Services Request Form.

Exceptional package $1249

If you have an exceptional parenting or Personal Recovery challenge, I can help! From determining the nature of the challenge, coming up with a realistic plan to address the challenge, and coaching you through the process of implementing your life changes, I am dedicated to helping you reach your goal. Structured similar to the SP, the Exceptional Package provides you with up to four hours initial Consultation, a written Evaluation and Plan for Progress. Three months of two hours weekly email or telephone coaching sessions are included; additional months Coaching available.

Securely complete the Services Request Form.

Customized Hope Coaching

Contact me with requests for Customized Hope Coaching.